Advice I Would Have Given Myself Before University

1. Be Selfish

By this, I don't mean to encourage behaving like a prick. But if there is any time in life to be selfish it is while you're trying to figure out how to be an adult. Hold yourself to high standards and know your worth (or at least try your best, and don't be hard on yourself if you sometimes fail). Cancel plans if you need the time alone. You do not owe anyone an explanation for putting yourself first. Prioritize protecting your peace and supporting your own mental health. This is not to say you should not consider the feelings of your close friends and family members, but that you should take care of yourself before others. Also, learn how to stand up for yourself!! Confronting others does not make you a mean person. Sometimes you have to show others how you deserve to be treated.

2. You're in no rush

That is, to do anything. You're in no rush to get a degree, to meet someone, to choose a career, to figure yourself out. You're in no rush to check off certain rites of passage, it's okay to be 'late to the game'.  You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do, or make decisions about things you're unsure of. Take your time. There have been times when I rushed into things because I felt like I needed to gain the experience. Although you learn something new every time this occurs, I usually regret pressuring myself to do things before I am ready. It's okay to be the friend who hasn't been in a serious relationship, or who doesn't have one specific career goal. To quote one of my favourite song's of all time, "Slow down, you crazy child." Don't burn yourself out trying desperately to figure out who you are.

3. Spend More Time Alone

Connecting with people is a beautiful thing, and often, spending time with close friends is what fills me up the most. However, it took me quite a while to realize that preventing burnout can be as simple as taking time to be with myself. I am a very introspective person and need alone time to write down my thoughts and self-reflect. I love going to coffee shops alone or packing a bag and going to the park to read and people watch. 

4. Trust Your Gut

It took me a while to learn that trusting your gut is the best thing you can do for yourself. Especially when you're out of your comfort zone in a completely new environment. At times I have questioned my own instincts and later regretted that I did not trust myself. Your thoughts and feelings do not need to be consolidated by others in order to be valid. If something feels off, do yourself a favour and listen to what your gut is telling you.

5. Let Yourself Have Fun

I don't care what anyone says, ultimately, university is about having fun. Let yourself unwind and don't be afraid to try new things. Usually, my rule is to say yes to everything (unless it's drugs) to make the most of every opportunity offered on or off campus. Some of my favourite memories at University come from  spontaneously deciding to go on a hike on the coast or to host a Western themed house party. Recently, My roommates and I have been really into Bingo and Trivia nights. We don't take ourselves too seriously but we have fun in any way we can. It's hard to be an adult and it's hard to be in school, so my best advice is to make the smallest things fun, and to take joy in the mundane. 

- Maya August